I am somebody who has anxiety. Like really bad anxiety. Not the "I have an exam tomorrow" anxiety, like everyday, stupid anxiety. I have seen many lists online of people who are trying to combat their crippling anxiety by addressing them head on. I love the idea, so here goes nothing.
1. Checking and responding to emails- I realize that this is a common one for many people. The thought that always runs through my mind is that I will forget to turn in a crucial assignment and fail a class. My professor will email me about how I failed their course, and subsequently failed at life.
2. Pet related anxieties- My dog is my baby. He is a sassy, obnoxious pomeranian and I love everything about him. I worry constantly about how dogs have much shorter life spans than humans and how I should indulge him in every way possible. You could see how this would be problematic. I also often worry about if I accidentally fed him too much one day, adding to his obesity and in turn shortening his life span. I think this particular anxiety stemmed from me owning a goldfish at some point in my childhood. Sidenote: His vet and I have him on a great diet plan, we really are being proactive. Don't get anxious dog folks. I get you.
3. Doing laundry- I don't even know. Clothes. So many clothes. Putting away clothes. How can one person own so many yoga pants that don't fit correctly? Ugh. Ugh. Ugh.
4. Commas- I can't handle punctuation. This isn't to say I don't like punctuation, but I kind of fear it out of respect. I always worry I don't use enough or too much. I know this is an easily fixable situation, but I still second guess every word and sentence a million times. The amount of times I have had to Google, "do I need a comma in this..." is a bit ridiculous. I also just panicked a little bit thinking about those of you who will be looking incessantly for punctuation errors in my posts. Don't do it, you're better than that. This is my safe space. Shhhh.
5. Hugs - Ok, I love hugs. I could be engulfed in a hug by someone I am super familiar with all day and would not be bothered. I also have personal space issues too though. It's those in-betweeners that really get me. The ones where we know each other well, but aren't really sure if we are at a hug level. You know the ones whose hug chemistry is still relatively unknown to you. Are you a two arms hugger or an awkward one arm over the shoulder type of guy? I've gotten caught by surprise over someone's hugging style before, it's not pretty. It can get weird and messy quickly, it is very hard to recover from a bad hug. Also do you guys every worry mid-way into giving someone a hug if you forgot to put on deodarant that day? Also can that be a sub level anxiety that pertains to hugging or is that its own category? I don't know. These are the questions that keep me awake at night.
6. Driving - I'm sure you've already guessed that I am an anxious driver. I don't love it. I avoid highways to this day. In fact I hate the Fast and Furious movies. Why would I go see a movie about something that gives me anxiety? I don't care how cute and bald Vin Diesel is. My answer is no.
7. Movies about Outer Space- Speaking of movies, this particular type is not my favorite. This is super conflicting. I love science , innovation and learning about our universe. I am the biggest Neil DeGrasse Tyson fan and totally geeked out when I heard he would be hosting Cosmos . I also however have a crippling fear of being stuck in empty, black space. So yeah the movie Gravity wasn't ideal. Just the thought of Sandra Bullock floating for two and a half hours is giving me motion sickness. So yeah, I did not watch it. George Clooney is super upset with me, get in line man. Sheesh. George can be so touchy about his movies. Sorry, my inner dialogue with George Clooney that occurs in my mind didn't need to be put on display. Even though it's usually more along the lines of, "move over George make way for Amal."
8. Making eye contact with people walking by- I am a people-watcher. I don't know how to stop. It's not in a weird way, it's just like a zoning out thing. So I sometimes have awkward encounters with people who catch me watching them. "Pffft I'm not looking at you, I'm looking at the ceiling." I know, real smooth. When I pass people walking to and from class I automatically look at every direction possible to avoid eye contact, this makes me look like a weirdo. I'm okay with it.
9. Smiling in inappropriate social situations- I am a nervous smiler. So when something terrible happens, I often smile. Funerals and bad news are not great for nervous-smilers, because we will seem creepily happy about something terrible that just happened. We aren't happy, we are dying of embarrassment inside. This is primarily why I hate it when someone accuses me of doing something I haven't done. I will get nervous and smile, which will make me seem overwhelmingly guilty.
This is my first list so far. I think I will make this an ongoing column and write as the anxieties come my way. Unless of course I start feeling anxious about keeping up with blogging, which is incredibly likely and possible. My life is full of paradox. - Imaan
1. Checking and responding to emails- I realize that this is a common one for many people. The thought that always runs through my mind is that I will forget to turn in a crucial assignment and fail a class. My professor will email me about how I failed their course, and subsequently failed at life.
2. Pet related anxieties- My dog is my baby. He is a sassy, obnoxious pomeranian and I love everything about him. I worry constantly about how dogs have much shorter life spans than humans and how I should indulge him in every way possible. You could see how this would be problematic. I also often worry about if I accidentally fed him too much one day, adding to his obesity and in turn shortening his life span. I think this particular anxiety stemmed from me owning a goldfish at some point in my childhood. Sidenote: His vet and I have him on a great diet plan, we really are being proactive. Don't get anxious dog folks. I get you.
3. Doing laundry- I don't even know. Clothes. So many clothes. Putting away clothes. How can one person own so many yoga pants that don't fit correctly? Ugh. Ugh. Ugh.
4. Commas- I can't handle punctuation. This isn't to say I don't like punctuation, but I kind of fear it out of respect. I always worry I don't use enough or too much. I know this is an easily fixable situation, but I still second guess every word and sentence a million times. The amount of times I have had to Google, "do I need a comma in this..." is a bit ridiculous. I also just panicked a little bit thinking about those of you who will be looking incessantly for punctuation errors in my posts. Don't do it, you're better than that. This is my safe space. Shhhh.
5. Hugs - Ok, I love hugs. I could be engulfed in a hug by someone I am super familiar with all day and would not be bothered. I also have personal space issues too though. It's those in-betweeners that really get me. The ones where we know each other well, but aren't really sure if we are at a hug level. You know the ones whose hug chemistry is still relatively unknown to you. Are you a two arms hugger or an awkward one arm over the shoulder type of guy? I've gotten caught by surprise over someone's hugging style before, it's not pretty. It can get weird and messy quickly, it is very hard to recover from a bad hug. Also do you guys every worry mid-way into giving someone a hug if you forgot to put on deodarant that day? Also can that be a sub level anxiety that pertains to hugging or is that its own category? I don't know. These are the questions that keep me awake at night.
6. Driving - I'm sure you've already guessed that I am an anxious driver. I don't love it. I avoid highways to this day. In fact I hate the Fast and Furious movies. Why would I go see a movie about something that gives me anxiety? I don't care how cute and bald Vin Diesel is. My answer is no.
7. Movies about Outer Space- Speaking of movies, this particular type is not my favorite. This is super conflicting. I love science , innovation and learning about our universe. I am the biggest Neil DeGrasse Tyson fan and totally geeked out when I heard he would be hosting Cosmos . I also however have a crippling fear of being stuck in empty, black space. So yeah the movie Gravity wasn't ideal. Just the thought of Sandra Bullock floating for two and a half hours is giving me motion sickness. So yeah, I did not watch it. George Clooney is super upset with me, get in line man. Sheesh. George can be so touchy about his movies. Sorry, my inner dialogue with George Clooney that occurs in my mind didn't need to be put on display. Even though it's usually more along the lines of, "move over George make way for Amal."
8. Making eye contact with people walking by- I am a people-watcher. I don't know how to stop. It's not in a weird way, it's just like a zoning out thing. So I sometimes have awkward encounters with people who catch me watching them. "Pffft I'm not looking at you, I'm looking at the ceiling." I know, real smooth. When I pass people walking to and from class I automatically look at every direction possible to avoid eye contact, this makes me look like a weirdo. I'm okay with it.
9. Smiling in inappropriate social situations- I am a nervous smiler. So when something terrible happens, I often smile. Funerals and bad news are not great for nervous-smilers, because we will seem creepily happy about something terrible that just happened. We aren't happy, we are dying of embarrassment inside. This is primarily why I hate it when someone accuses me of doing something I haven't done. I will get nervous and smile, which will make me seem overwhelmingly guilty.
This is my first list so far. I think I will make this an ongoing column and write as the anxieties come my way. Unless of course I start feeling anxious about keeping up with blogging, which is incredibly likely and possible. My life is full of paradox. - Imaan